Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
