It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The adults are the big ones right?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
