those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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