Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
