I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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