I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
