This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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