we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
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