I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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