Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
