Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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