Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
