I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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