Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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