Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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