Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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