No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
