So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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