she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
