you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
