some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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