Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
