Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
