the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
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Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
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Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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