I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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