the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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