dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
