Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.