She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
