If i come over, it means nothing
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
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Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
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Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?