you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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