Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
How does it feel to date your dad?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
