and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
