I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
