Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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