I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
