The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
