There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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