Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
