Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
