I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
