youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
