And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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