It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i out mim tonsoeep
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