Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
