Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize