one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
