dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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