She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
