I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor