yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
