Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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