You work out of a Hotel?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
