The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
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I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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