I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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