He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
