making cat noises will not fix the situation.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
