My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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