If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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