Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize